You’re capable of anything.
You’re more free than anyone will tell you.
You’re not the shackles that have been put on you.
Our modern society is not designed for the entirety of your spirit to be fulfilled. It’s designed to drag that spirit down into a tiny box, burying it under what's ‘rational’
And these constraints are man made -
We look at trailblazers - revolutionaries - inventors - kings, queens - explorers of new lands - like they were the anomalies. As if at birth they were pre ordained to usher is a new world, to lead us into a new frontier.
THIS IS A LIE.
These people were just like you and I. They had their moments of doubt, their burdened introspection. They cried, failed, they tried and fell on their faces as their noses were bloody and bruised, turned crooked from so many attempts to step into a new world where the ground was putty, uncertain!
The difference is they didn’t give in to it. They didn’t turn to more firm ground, run back to safety. They either fell in love with it, became so curious they couldn’t turn back, burnt they bridges, or better yet - never saw another option. The only thing that felt right (and this is a Spirit thing) was to go for it all.
They were delusional and that’s what we must be.
We must open wide our eyes and see society today is created to euthanize
us while we still have breath, to understand that life lived is different than walking death!
I hate people. Or yet, I hate what they do with their gift of Life. Thats the crux of it. I don’t hate their spirits but I hate how willingly they seem to have fallen into this belief that they’re capable of nothing. I hate how I look in the dead eyes of someone I used to know and see they’ve given up when I felt, at one point, they had the talent and desire to become the greatest painter the world had ever seen. This! Makes me cry! And if I present myself too emotional, to polarized you must know I take no breaks between sentences, I take no breaths when writing I turn myself into a madman that pours out thoughts from the canals of beliefs because its only their, in the soul of myself, that I can truly tell you how I feel:
and thats how I feel.
That the world is killing my friends. The world is killing even strangers I don’t know.
There’s no self belief because why would someone believe in themselves when year after year they’re only fed limiting beliefs such as ‘be realistic’ or ‘that won’t work’
This to further the belief: You have to make a monster of yourself. We have to mold ourselves into walking lightening bolts, have to look in the mirror - look deep into our own eyes - and convince ourselves we’re destined for greater things - have to believe everything we do serves a greater purpose and we must be brave enough to slice to death with sword that which doesn’t contribute to that.
Ginsburg, who I don’t really idolize, but still I remember his quotes etc etc, said at the beginning of HOWL,
“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,”
he has a way with words - i’ll admit.
But a different time… he fought a different fight than I ..
and for me:
I watched the best minds of my generation wither like a dead vein from a life they felt was unfulfilled. They went through the motions. Right? I followed the path, right? I went to a good school? Right, Yes, I guess! I got a good job, right? I mean, I made $70k out of college, that’s good, isn’t it? the devil on my shoulder whispers, ‘yes’ and my ambitions again drown, good school, good job, good money to start, but everyday as i drive into the office it feels like a cut on my arm, tomorrow one on my leg, I’m dying the death of a 1,000 cuts by 9-5.
We need to risk it all on ourselves. I don’t care if you quit your job. You’re a human with free will - a gift from God - you have ultimate control over everything in your life.
You don’t like a song playing on your spotify, you change it.
Don’t like the taste of radish, you don’t eat it.
Yet when things matter, when they evolve into larger decisions we opt for the conflict avoidant route… I’ll eat the raddish because everyone else… I’ll nod my head to the song and fake smile because everyone seems to like it.
We have to look inside ourselves and see what deeds matter. When you’re buried, and in the casket alone you will be, what will you have wanted to leave the world?
My most used prayer is the prayer that everyone in the world feels the strength of God, Jesus behind their backs. That they feel ordained to change their world.
You weren’t sentenced to dead days. You weren’t meant to open your eyes in the morning and dread the hours ahead. You weren’t meant to find drugs, alcohol, sex to escape from your work or craft.
I beg you and please God heed this I beg you to attempt with your fullest might to design a life you’re excited about - to build something, to put your gifts to good use - i beg you to find this route, take machete into jungle and swing your way unto a valley of Gold!
With passion,
Winston
Souled Idea
Dr. of Love
Midnight Crusader
My book is available on Souled Idea.
Believe you're great?
Winston the fire-lighter; the arson.